Willy Futterwacken's Traveling Diss Card Emporium is an event that can be reached with the Traveling Salesman Neutral Effect. It can also simply be a random event.
Shop Introduction[edit | edit source]
|Traveling Salesman: Diss Cards|
In the distance you see a traveling salesman! You walk up to an extravagantly dressed man. His cart is... colorful.
'Welcome to my spectacular Diss Card Emporium! I'm Willy Futterwacken, can I help you?'
Shop Interface[edit | edit source]
|Willy Futterwacken's Traveling Diss Card Emporium|
|'Diss Cards are amazingly meta and can break down any fourth wall! If you want to win this board game, then step right up and pick a card... for a price!'|
|Item||Price||Description upon purchase|
|Diss Card: Knockback||7 Rupees||'Knock knock, who's there? It's a Diss Card: Knockback!'|
|Diss Card: Steal Monies||10 Rupees||'Want to buy more stuff? Use this Diss Card to 'borrow' some Rupees!'|
|Diss Card: Ensnare||15 Rupees||'Is life going too fast for you? Use this Diss Card and slow things down a bit.'|
|Diss Card: Death||20 Rupees||'This card emanates dark power. Use it if you want someone to lose their hat! Haha!'|
|Diss Card: Speed Exchange||30 Rupees||'Don't you just hate it when people are faster than you? Turn the tables and show them how it feels!'|
|Diss Card: Shift||1500 Rupees||'The most powerful of my Diss Cards. Just... shift the odds in your favor, if you catch my drift!'|
|Generic post-purchase quote|
|Willy hands you a X...'More cards to fill up your deck, mister?'|
|Insufficient funds quote|
|'Sorry, mister! I may be mad as a hatter, but I'm not selling my cards for free!'|
|You seem to have died near Willy Futterwacken's Traveling Diss Card Emporium... He knocks your corpse away with a Diss Card: Knockback.|
|'Alright, mister. Good luck winning this crazy board game!'|