The Joke Shop

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The Joke Shop is an event that can be reached with the Wildcard: Flavor Events Neutral Effect from the [The Joke Shop] option of Wildcard: Flavor Events or from the [A card picturing a fucking creepy clown.] option in Cards Of Fate. It can also simply be a random event.


This shop contains all of the "Today's Special" items available for purchase in The ACME Shop.

Shop Introduction[edit | edit source]

The Joke Shop
TheJokeShop.png


Quote spoken by the clown normally

"Hey little guy! Welcome to Honko's jolly Joke Shop! Hee hee! I sell all kinds of funny things! Have a look! Hoo hoo hoo!"

TheJokeShopArcaneVision.png

Quote spoken by the clown if you have Arcane Vision

"Hey little brat! You dare set foot in Honko's wicked Joke Shop?! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! I still have the skull of the previous fool who stepped in here. Have a look around and try not to DIE!"

[Show the wares!][No thanks.]

Shop Interface[edit | edit source]

The Joke Shop
"Check all those silly funny items! Would you like to buy something? Hee hee!"/"Buy my items , little brat! Or else! AAAAAAHAHAHAHA!"
Item Price Description upon purchase
Horn 1 Rupee 'Ooooh, this is Honko's favorite! Honk honk honk! Hoo hoo hoo!'
Skull (1) 1 Rupee 'This little fuck thought he could rip me off! He didn't get far. And he screamed. He screamed so loud! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'
Anvil 2 Rupees 'Ooooh, anvils are so much fun! Hee hee!'/'AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! An anvil! Launch it with the Catapult and kill some little fucks!'
Sneezing Powder 3 Rupees 'Oh, everybody loves the good old sneezing powder! Hoo hoo hoo!'/'YES! YES! Let them sneeze until they die!'
Hand Buzzer 6 Rupees 'Just a little shock for some harmless fun! It'll give everyone a great big smile! Hee hee!'/'Shock those little fucks! Shock them to DEATH! AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!'
Squirting Flower 6 Rupees 'Oooooh, flowes make me hap- hap- happy! So much fun fun fun!'/'Why would you even buy this? Fuck it! Fuck you!'
Explosive Cigar 7 Rupees 'Would you like an ordinaaaaaary cigar? Ohhh, so much fun! Hee hee!'/'Permanent damage to the face! AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'
Extendo Fist 8 Rupees 'Boink! Nobody expects the extendo fist! Hoo hoo hoo!'/'Permanent brain damage! AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'
Fake Fake Turd 10 Rupees 'It looks soooooo fake, but is it really? Hee hee!'/'AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! Smear it all over their fucking fuckfaces! YEEEEEEEEES!'
Generic post-purchase quote
Honko hands you X... "Do you want more fun stuff? Hee hee!"/"Keep browsing, little brat! And keep watching your back! AAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!"
Insufficient funds quote
"You're silly! You can't even afford that! Hoo hoo hoo!"/"You can't afford that, you fuck! Get out of here before I lose my patience! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Death quote
You seem to have died at the Joke Shop. Honko comically drags you outside. She has a good laugh!/You seem to have died at the Joke Shop. Honko drags your corpse into a dark room. What the fuck is wrong with that clown?!
Leaving quote
"See you later, little guy! Hoo hoo hoo!"/"Get out of my shop! Don't let the door murder you from behind! AAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!"

Notes[edit | edit source]

  • Horn shows up in the shop only if you don't have Arcane Vision upon entering the shop.
  • Skull shows up in the shop only if you have Arcane Vision upon entering the shop.