The Hardware Store

From Board Game Online Wiki

The Hardware Store is an event that can be reached with the Wildcard: Flavor Events Neutral Effect from the [The Hardware Store] option of Wildcard: Flavor Events, the talented Trade Routes event, the Going to: Event Neutral Effect from Scout The Area or Spyglass's [The Hardware Store] option, the Eye Of The Graeae event, the Khufu's Journey event, or from the [A card picturing an endless collection of tools.] option in Cards Of Fate. It can also simply be a random event.


This shop contains all of the "Today's Special" items available for purchase in The Engineering Shop. Also, the event also keeps a running count of the number of (non-unique) players that have encountered the event since its introduction in Board Game Online; if the turn player encounters this event and their encounter results in a number that is a multiple of 27, then they receive a free Hammer.

Shop Introduction[edit | edit source]

The Hardware Store

"Hey there, mister! We ran out of (3 randomly said of the following:) jumper cables, trash compactors, window louvres, coffee makers, smoke detectors, weather stripping, window shutters, paint removers, pesticides, grout and spackle, plastic gutters, folding tables, BB pellets, and spoons, but we still have some good stuff left! Oh, and every 27th customer gets a Hammer free! You were the X customer unfortunately."/Oh, and you actually are the 27th customer! Here's your Hammer!"

[Show me the wares!][No thanks.]

Shop Interface[edit | edit source]

The Hardware Store
"Would you look at all that stuff!"
Item Price Description upon purchase
Screw 2 Rupees 'When life screws you over, just screw it right back!'
Battery 4 Rupees 'Good, now all you need is assault!'
Plunger 4 Rupees 'When you use this, your opponent won't be able to... eat it!'
Soldering Torch 6 Rupees 'I got this one off eBay!'
Duct Tape 8 Rupees 'I knew you were gonna buy this. You were all like 'I Want A New Duct Tape'!'
Spanner 8 Rupees 'For all your achy breaky items!'
Shovel 9 Rupees 'I dig this purchase!'
Generic post-purchase quote
Weird Al Yankovic hands you a X. "Go ahead and buy some more! Kapitalism, comrade!"
Insufficient funds quote
"You're poor like a polka player. Sorry, mister! Drop by later and remember: every 27th customer gets a Hammer free!"
Death quote
You seem to have died at the Hardware Store. Weird Al Yankovic uses his favorite shovel to bury you. "Seems like... another ones rides the bus!"
Leaving quote
"See ya later, mister! Drop by later and remember: every 27th customer gets a Hammer free!"

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • The concept for this store is based on "Weird Al" Yankovic's song, "Hardware Store". This is further supported by the following:
    • "Weird Al" Yankovic is referred to as the shopkeep in this event's purchase descriptions.
    • One of the lyrics for the song is "Would you look at all that stuff," which can be read when the shop interface is entered.
    • The lyrics "There's a great big purple sign out front / That says every 27th customer / Will get a ball-peen hammer free" is referenced by this event awarding a Hammer to every 27th player that encounters this event since its inception.
    • This event contains references to other songs of "Weird Al" Yankovic.
      • The purchase description for the Soldering Torch is likely a reference to the "Weird Al" Yankovic's song, "eBay".
      • The purchase description for the Plunger is likely a reference to the "Weird Al" Yankovic's song, "Eat It".
      • The purchase description for the Duct Tape is likely a reference to the "Weird Al" Yankovic's song, "I Want a New Duck".