The Brothel (flavor text)

From Board Game Online Wiki

If you're looking for the main page for this event, see The Brothel. If you're looking for the flavor text for the Orgy subevent, see Orgy (flavor text).

Event Text[edit | edit source]

The Brothel
TheBrothel.png


You stand in front of a brothel.
Only if it's snowing: It's covered in snow but still seems to be open for business.

Do you wish to go inside and check it out?

[Yes][No]
OR
Only if you have Mojo: You cannot resist the urge to go inside...
[Enter the Brothel!]

A Condom
You find a Time Travel Condom in a small empty room...


TimeTravelCondom.png

Let's hope it hasn't been used before...
[Continue]

A Dildo
You walk around the brothel looking for... I don't know. Pervy stuff, I guess! Then you suddenly trip on something!


Dildo.png

It's a Dildo! Ewww!

You take it with you of course. :3
[Continue]

  • Upon reaching the A Hooker! subevent with 16 spaces forward:
A Hooker!
A hooker pulls down your pants.
'Wow.'
The hooker looks extremely impressed. Good times follow. Move forward 16 spaces!


(If you are a -cubus: You're smoking hot and you know it!)

(If you have Mojo: Nobody can resist your Mojo baby!)
[Continue]

  • Upon reaching the standard A Hooker! subevent with 11 spaces backward:
A Hooker!
A hooker pulls down your pants.
'Aaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha!'
The hooker laughs her ass off as you pull your pants back up. Move back 11 spaces.


Nobody can resist your Mojo baby!
[Continue]

  • Upon reaching the A Hooker! subevent with Jinxed Jewel Of Impotence:
A Hooker!
A hooker pulls down your pants.
'Wow.'
(If you are male: The hooker looks impressed. But you can't get it up...)
(If you are female or non-binary: The hooker looks pleased. But you are unable to... have sex.) The hooker laughs her ass off as you pull your pants back up. Move back 11 spaces.)


[Continue]

  • Upon using a Hammer in the A Hooker!/A Gigolo! subevent:
Big (Holy) Hammer
That really is a big (Holy) Hammer you got there...
[Continue]


And move 1 space forward for being awesome.

  • Upon reaching the A Pillow subevent:
A Pillow
You find a Pillow on the ground. Looks soft and fluffy!


Pillow.png

You do wonder what that white stain is, but take it with you anyway.
[Continue]

Cocaine
You see some Cocaine on a table.


Cocaine.png

You look around and quickly take it with you.
[Continue]

Flask Of Mojo
You enter the bathroom of the Brothel and notice a small flask lying on the ground. You pick it up, and the label reads Flask Of Mojo...


FlaskOfMojo.png

You wonder what this potion does...
[Continue]

Pearl Necklace
You meet a very friendly man in the Brothel who says he has a Pearl Necklace just for you! And you can have it for free too! Wow, what a nice man this is! You are pretty damn lucky!


PearlNecklace.png

...

You don't want to talk about it.
[Continue]

Cock-A-Doodle-Doo!
You walk through the Brothel when suddenly a weird sound startles you!


Rooster.png

What a beautiful Cock! You love it! You decide to take it with you.

You can't wait to show everyone your amazing cock!
[Continue]

Fuzzy Cuffs
You enter a very kinky room. Nobody seems to be here, but you see all sorts of devices that could be for either pain or pleasure. Everything's a dildo if you're brave enough, right?

Then something pink catches your eye!


FuzzyCuffs.png

Fuzzy Cuffs! You take these with you. For... reasons. :3

[Continue]

The Heart Of The BGO Slut
You walk through the Brothel when your heart rate suddenly increases... You are mysteriously drawn towards a room in the back that you hadn't even noticed before. When you enter, you feel a hot glow... It's...


HeartOfTheBGOSlut.png


The Heart Of The BGO Slut!


It compels you to have sex! Well then... let's get it ON!
[Continue]

Glory Hole
You enter a room with a hole in the wall. It's about big enough for... Well... I suppose a banana? Or a cucumber? You contemplate whether you should stick something in or wait for someone else to stick something in from the other side, but upon closer inspection you notice that the hole comes right off!


PortableHole.png


It's one of ACME's Portable Holes! Yoink!


[Continue]

Foot Fetish: [RandomBoots]
FootFetish.png

You find yourself in a fetish room dedicated to feet. Wow, some people are really into feet!

RandomBootsImage


You find a pair of [RandomBoots]! No one will mind if you take these with you, right? I'm sure they like their feet naked anyway.


[Continue]

Foot Fetish: Socks
FootFetish.png

You find yourself in a fetish room dedicated to feet. Wow, some people are really into feet!

PairOfSocks.png


You find a Pair Of Socks! No one will mind if you take these with you, right? I'm sure they like their feet naked anyway.


[Continue]

Hooters Bar
HootersBar.png
You enter a room and find yourself in a Hooters Bar™. Ahh yes! Look at all those scantily dressed owls! Hot stuff!


For a mere 6 Rupees you can get yourself a random drink! You wanna hang out with these birds?
[Yes][No]

No Booze
No thanks. It's too early to drink anyway.


[Continue]

Bird Booze
You order a random drink and get a [RandomDrinkItem].


[DrinkItemImage]

A sexy bird sitting at the bar seems to have noticed you. He points you at a sign about a 2 for 1 deal when you're buying drinks together.

Want to buy him and yourself another drink for 9 Rupees?

[Yes, owl have another][No]

No Booze
You politely decline the owl's advances. You've got a game to win after all!


[Continue]

Chasing Tail
You order a random drink for yourself and your feathered companion. You get a [RandomDrinkItem].


[DrinkItemImage]

You and the owl flirt a little and she's really into you! One thing leads to the other and she goes home with you. I'll leave the rest to your own vulgar imagination, you perv!

Owl.png

This... is one of the weirder parts of BGO, right?

[Continue]

Little Whores
LittleWhores.png
You walk through the brothel when you notice a door with a sign on it: "Little Whores".


You're not entirely sure if this is... legal. But you really are curious... So, do you want to go in?
[Yes][No]

Little... Horse?
You go into the room and find... a Pony?


One-TrickPony.png

Ohhhhh, it's a little horse! That's cute, Board Game Online! That's cute. :)

[Continue]

Ain't No Predator
You sure as hell don't want to be on "To Catch A Predator", so you're staying far away from that door!


[Continue]

Free Boobies
FreeBoobies.png
You walk through the brothel when you notice a door with a sign on it: "Free Boobies".


Who could say no to boobies? Let alone free ones! So, do you want to go in?
[Yes][No]

Free... Booby?
You go into the room and find... a Booby?


Booby.png

Ohhhhh, now you get it! It's a blue-footed booby! Why, thank you for the free bird! :)

[Continue]

No Time For Tits
You have way too much going on to care about some tits!


[Continue]

Chlamydia
You got infected with Chlamydia. Damn... Chlamydia ain't funny.


[Continue]

Gonorrhea
You got infected with Gonorrhea. Damn... Gonorrhea ain't funny.


[Continue]

Herpes
You got infected with Herpes. Damn... Herpes ain't funny.


[Continue]

Syphilis
You got infected with Syphilis. Damn... Syphilis ain't funny.


[Continue]

Sex!
Sex.png
You have sex all night long! Move forward 18 spaces!


[Continue]

Sex?
You want to have sex, but it fails miserably! Move back 3 spaces!


[Continue]

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • TBD