The Beach

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If you're looking for the flavor text for this event, see The Beach (flavor text).

TheBeach.png


The Beach is an event that can be reached with the Going To The Beach Buff, from the Leave The City option in City Over The Narrow Sea, from The Pirate Ship, from the Arcane Portal found in The Haunted Mansion's Cellar, or randomly by using an Inflatable Crocodile at the Subterranean Stream Inside The Cave. It cannot simply be a random event.


In the event, you have various options. The normal options are explained under Standard Options, and changes from the normal options are explained under Summer.

Standard Options[edit | edit source]

Palm Tree[edit | edit source]

You can shake the tree for a random chance to get a Coconut, hit the tree with a Hammer for a guaranteed Coconut, or hit the tree with a Holy Hammer for a guaranteed Coconut and Banana.

The Fisherman[edit | edit source]

The player can pay 15 Rupees to obtain a Fishing Pole and learn the Fisherman feat from The Fisherman. Alternatively, the player can ask for a free tip, prompting The Fisherman to give hints towards location(s) where a specific non-generic fish/other water creature can be caught.

[Take a long walk at the beach.][edit | edit source]

You go to one of the following randomly selected subevents:

Subevents[edit | edit source]

  • Bucket- The player receives a Bucket. (It is too late to fill it with water this turn.)
  • Crabs- The player is infected with Crabs for 5 turns (non-cubus)/15 turns (-cubus) and has a chance to catch Crabs in their Pocket Ball.
  • Message In A Bottle- The player receives Broken Glass and potentially a message from a player who bought Message in a Bottle at the BG Shop within the last month is shown.
  • Necklace- The player receives an Ordinary Necklace.
  • Old Fishing Pole- The player receives a Fishing Pole. (It is too late to fish with it this turn.)
  • Sea Star- The player receives a Fairy Crystal.

[Leave.][edit | edit source]

Nothing happens in the event.

Summer[edit | edit source]

  • The Beach has 2 additional options compared with the standard options during Summer: The Mobile Beach Shop and Water Skiing.
  • During Summer, The Beach has a 100% chance to have The Mobile Beach Shop, [Take a long walk at the beach.], and [Leave.] as options, a random chance for Water Skiing and Palm Tree, and a 0% chance for The Fisherman.
  • Water Skiing and Palm Tree cannot both appear as options at the same time.
  • Pamela Anderson/David Hasselhoff have a random chance of appearing at the same time as the Water Skiing option; the one that appears is based on the player's account's chosen sexual preference.

Water Skiing[edit | edit source]

  • The player can pay 5 Rupees to "a blonde guy in a speedboat" to go water skiing, or they can leave and the event ends.
  • If you pay the Rupees, you will go 4-6 spaces forward and be given an option to continue or stop; stopping at this point does not incur a penalty.
  • If continuing, you will go 6-8 spaces forward and be given an option to continue or stop; stopping at this point will have the player become Incapacitated unless Pamela Anderson/David Hasselhoff is on the beach, in which case there is no penalty.
  • If continuing, you will go 8-10 spaces forward, then on the next page you will be killed by a shark unless Pamela Anderson/David Hasselhoff is on the beach, in which case there is no penalty. Supposing the player is killed by the shark but is somehow alive, they will have an option to use a Fishing Pole (Pet Bear isn't an option) to catch the Loan Shark which killed them; this option is not given if the player is saved by Pamela Anderson/David Hasselhoff.

The Mobile Beach Shop[edit | edit source]

Shop Introduction[edit | edit source]

The Mobile Beach Shop
TheMobileBeachShop.png
You walk up to the van in the middle of the beach! A relaxed looking guy gives you a nod and a smile.



Quotes spoken to male players

'Duuuude! You look like you could need some refreshment! I've got ice cream and beer, man!'

'Hey dude! Nice day for the beach, right? I'm Landon and this is my van. Yup, this baby is all mine! Let me know if you want anything. I'll be riiiiight here.'

'Relax, dude. I'll be here all summer if you need anything. Take your time.'

Quotes spoken to female players

'Hey girl! Welcome to Landon's Love Mobile! If you, like, need a place to crash tonight... just let me know!'

'Welcome to Landon's Paradise Van! My name's Landon and I'll be your best friend this summer. How about an ice cream for the lady?'

'Hey there, beautiful! You look like an active girl! Can I interest you in a beach ball perhaps? Nothing beats a classic!'

[Take a look around][Leave]

Shop Interface[edit | edit source]

The Mobile Beach Shop
'Have a look around, dude/girl. It's all premium stuff.'
Item Price Description upon purchase
Beer 2 Rupees 'Gotta stay hydrated and inebriated, amiright?'
Sunscreen 4 Rupees 'If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.'
Beach Ball 5 Rupees 'It's the perfect design, dude/girl! No need to change a thing about this classic!'
Inflatable Female Crocodile 6 Rupees 'I call this one Croque Madame, because she's such a lady!'
Inflatable Male Crocodile 6 Rupees 'I call this one Croque Monsieur, because he's such a gentleman!'
Ice Cream 7 Rupees 'It's hot out today. An ice cream sounds like a great idea!'
Solar Panel 8 Rupees 'The sun can be unbearable in the summer, but at least this baby makes good use of it!'
Salsamander 9 Rupees 'Right on! This little amigo is the best pet for late night summer parties!'
Cocktail Shaker 11 Rupees 'You can't celebrate the summer without cocktails, dude/girl!'
Hamburger 14 Rupees 'Ohhh, man! I don't like to brag, but I make one mean burger! This son of a bitch will NOT disappoint you!'
Party Cooler 14 Rupees 'With weather like this, you sure need this baby to keep everything nice and cool!'
Generic post-purchase quote
'If you need anything else, give me a nudge.'
Insufficient funds quote
'Sorry, dude. I need the money for gas. Come back when you brought your wallet with you!'
Death quote
You seem to have died somehow, so Landon moves his van a bit. Corpses are so uncool.
Leaving quote
'See you around, dude/girl! I'll be here all summer if you need me!'

Notes[edit | edit source]

  • The Inflatable Crocodiles are each available 50% of the time at the Shop; exactly one will be available at the same time per visit.
  • The Cocktail Shaker, Party Cooler, Salsamander and Solar Panel items are each available 25% of the time at the Shop; exactly one will be available at the same time per visit.

Gallery[edit | edit source]