The ACME Shop (flavor text)

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Anime ACME Shop Introduction:

The Anime ACME Shop Introduction

You stand in front of a big warehouse. A neon sign reads ACME Co.


A smaller sign reads:
'"Do not use ACME products unless you are a certified cartoon character. Improper usage might result in user being flattened, crushed, bashed, crunched, or thrown off a cliff."'

Enter the store?
[Yes][No]

Anime ACME Shop Interface:

The Anime ACME Shop Interface
A stunning woman in a red dress comes up to greet you:


'"Welcome to the ACME Shop. Can I help you?"'

Item Price Description upon purchase
ACME Piano 4 Rupees '"I used to be a singer at the biggest restaurant in town. People loved it when I sang sideways on the piano."'
ACME Pogo-Stick 8 Rupees '"I don't need one of these to... bounce. I'm very elastic already."'
ACME Rocket 10 Rupees '"I'm sure you'd love to see the fireworks, sweety."'
Hand Grenade 10 Rupees '"Are you sure you need this? You look like you're ready to explode already."'
ACME Magnet 11 Rupees '"Feels like the attraction is working already..."'
Hypno Glasses 20 Rupees '"Don't even think about using those on me or I'll make sure it's the last thing you ever do."'
ACME TNT 35 Rupees '"Are you sure you need this? You look like you're ready to explode already."'
Anvil 2 Rupees 'X'
Extendo Fist 8 Rupees 'WIP'
Explosive Cigar 7 Rupees 'WIP'
Hand Buzzer 6 Rupees 'WIP'
Sneezing Powder 3 Rupees 'WIP'
Squirting Flower 6 Rupees '"Have a look at Saturday's Special, sweetheart! Very stylish... for a kid."'
Fake Fake Turd 10 Rupees '"Have a look at Sunday's Special, sweetheart! It's... wow. Why do we even sell this? I'm gonna have a talk with my boss."'
Portable Hole 8 Rupees 'WIP'
Toilet Paper 2 Rupees 'WIP'
Generic post-purchase quote
'"Anything else you'd like?"'
Insufficient funds quote
'"You can't afford that, sweetheart."'
Death quote
You seem to have died somehow, so the beautiful woman calls the cops. They drag your body out of the shop inside a body bag.
Leaving quote
'"See you around!"'


Secret ACME Facility Introduction:

Secret ACME Facility Introduction

You stand in front of a giant, secret research facility. A neon sign reads ACME Co.


A smaller sign reads:
'"Do not use ACME products unless you are a certified cartoon character. Improper usage might result in user being flattened, crushed, bashed, crunched, or thrown off a cliff."'

Enter the store?
[Yes][No]

Secret ACME Facility Interface:

Secret ACME Facility Interface
A slender, dark-haired woman greets you:


'"Welcome to ACME's secret science labs. This is where we research all our newest products. It's gonna be soon: ACME to the moon!"'

Item Price Description upon purchase
ACME Piano 4 Rupees '"We're researching ways to integrate AI into our future pianos, so all crushing can be done automatically!"'
ACME Pogo-Stick 8 Rupees '"Spiffy! Use our pretty Pogo-Stick to jump ahead of those other slowpokes!"'
ACME Rocket 10 Rupees '"One day there are gonna have the firepower to reach the moon, mark my words."'
Hand Grenade 10 Rupees '"War drives innovation, so be sure to keep blowing stuff up!"'
ACME Magnet 11 Rupees '"The bigger the magnet, the better! Always give your enemies lots of kitchenware for their birthdays. Planning ahead is half the murder."'
Hypno Glasses 20 Rupees '"Ain't that something! People will be so much nicer to you when you wear these!"'
ACME TNT 35 Rupees '""War drives innovation, so be sure to keep blowing stuff up!""'
Anvil 2 Rupees 'WIP'
Extendo Fist 8 Rupees 'WIP'
Explosive Cigar 7 Rupees 'WIP'
Hand Buzzer 6 Rupees 'WIP'
Sneezing Powder 3 Rupees 'WIP'
Squirting Flower 6 Rupees 'WIP'
Fake Fake Turd 10 Rupees '"It's Sunday's Special! Reverse engineering a fake turd accidentally caused us to create a whole new product line!"'
Portable Hole 8 Rupees 'WIP'
Toilet Paper 2 Rupees 'WIP'
Generic post-purchase quote
'"Anything else you want?"'
Insufficient funds quote
'"Research is costly. If you can't pay, stay away."'
Death quote
You seem to have died somehow, so the lead researcher orders some ACME employees to drag your body out of the facility.
Leaving quote
'"Don't tell anyone where to find our secret labs, or we'll have to kill you."'


SEXME Shop Introduction:

The SEXME Shop Introduction

You stand in front of a big warehouse. A neon sign reads SEXME Co.


A smaller sign reads:
'"Do not use SEXME products unless you are a certified cartoon character. Improper usage might result in user being pleasured, crushed, bashed, crunched, fucked to death or thrown off a cliff while cumming uncontrollably."'

Enter the store?
[Yes][No]

SEXME Shop Interface:

The SEXME Shop Interface
A small, dark-haired woman sitting on a giant red rocket greets you:


'"Hey baby. Is that a rocket in your pocket or are you just happy to be here?"'

Item Price Description upon purchase
ACME Piano 4 Rupees '"Want to give it a test run? I'll sit on it for you if you like..."'
ACME Pogo-Stick 8 Rupees '"These are a real hit. People always get so enthusiastic when I do product demonstrations..."'
ACME Rocket 10 Rupees '"I'm a big fan of big red rockets, baby..."'
Hand Grenade 10 Rupees '"Careful now, honey. You look ready to explode!"'
ACME Magnet 11 Rupees '"Do you feel the attraction yet?"'
Hypno Glasses 20 Rupees '"You don't need these, baby. Your eyes are hypnotic enough already."'
ACME TNT 35 Rupees '"Careful now, honey. You look ready to explode!"'
Anvil 2 Rupees '"Monday's Special, baby! Makes sense you'd buy this. You look like you're an expert at hitting on peop... I mean, things."'
Extendo Fist 8 Rupees '"Tuesday's Special, baby! Ooo... fist me, daddy... I'm sorry. I can be so... unprofessional at times."'
Explosive Cigar 7 Rupees '"Wednesday's Special, baby! You look smoking hot, you know that?"'
Hand Buzzer 6 Rupees 'WIP'
Sneezing Powder 3 Rupees '"Friday's Special, baby! Don't open that here, or you'll get the room all sticky. From sneezing, of course."'
Squirting Flower 6 Rupees '"Saturday's Special, baby! I don't need a flower like that to squirt. Want me to show you sometime?"'
Fake Fake Turd 10 Rupees '"Sunday's Special, baby! If you're into this sort of thing... call me."'
Portable Hole 8 Rupees '"I always carry a portable hole with me, honey. Want me to show you mine?"'
Toilet Paper 2 Rupees '"Want me to demonstrate how to use it? Come back after hours..."'
Generic post-purchase quote
'"Look around. Anything else you desire?"'
Insufficient funds quote
'"Being poor doesn't get you far, honey."'
Death quote
You seem to have died somehow, so the sexy woman drags your body out of the shop.
Leaving quote
'"Don't leave me, baby. At least promise me you'll be back real soon...'