Ivan's Weapons Van

Ivan's Weapons Van is an event that can be reached with the Traveling Salesman Neutral Effect. It can also simply be a random event.

Shop Introduction[edit | edit source]

Traveling Salesman: Weapons
In the distance you see a traveling salesman! You walk up to a rough looking Russian man. His van is full of weapons! 'Hoy comrade. You need weapons?' [Yes][No]

Ivan's Weapons Van
'Look at van. Full of weapons. You buy I give you good price.'
Item	Price	Description upon purchase
Gun	5 Rupees	'Is good quality. Good for shootink. You aim, you shoot, da?'
Hand Grenade	10 Rupees	'Blow up capitalist scum for motherland! For Mother Russia!'
Combustible Lemon	10 Rupees	'Good for burnink. Is strange design, but I don't ask question.'
Flamethrower	12 Rupees	'Capitalists love burnink. Aimink is very easy after few bottles of vodka.'
Sniper Rifle	15 Rupees	'You climb in clock tower. You aim at capitalist very far away. You kill. Very easy, comrade.'
Minigun	22 Rupees	'You got many enemies, da? Line them up. Knock them down.'
Bazooka	22 Rupees	'Nothink beats satisfaction of watchink missile fly, explode in distance. Thing of beauty, comrade.'
Double-Barreled Shotgun	24 Rupees	'Only think better than shootink once, is shootink twice.'
BFG 9000	50 Rupees	'Big Friendly Gun is your new best friend. Developed by Moscow's top scientists. Make Mother Russia proud!'
Generic post-purchase quote
Ivan pushes a X in your hands...'I haff more, comrade.'
Insufficient funds quote
'Hoy! No roubles. No weapons.'
Death quote
You seem to have died at Ivan's Weapons Van. He seems indifferent about it.
Leaving quote
Before entering: 'You go now, comrade. No time for playink around.' After entering: 'Haff nice day, comrade!'