Ivan's Weapons Van is an event that can be reached with the Traveling Salesman Neutral Effect. It can also simply be a random event.
Shop Introduction[edit | edit source]
|Traveling Salesman: Weapons|
In the distance you see a traveling salesman! You walk up to a rough looking Russian man. His van is full of weapons!
'Hoy comrade. You need weapons?'
Shop Interface[edit | edit source]
|Ivan's Weapons Van|
|'Look at van. Full of weapons. You buy I give you good price.'|
|Item||Price||Description upon purchase|
|Gun||5 Rupees||'Is good quality. Good for shootink. You aim, you shoot, da?'|
|Hand Grenade||10 Rupees||'Blow up capitalist scum for motherland! For Mother Russia!'|
|Combustible Lemon||10 Rupees||'Good for burnink. Is strange design, but I don't ask question.'|
|Flamethrower||12 Rupees||'Capitalists love burnink. Aimink is very easy after few bottles of vodka.'|
|Sniper Rifle||15 Rupees||'You climb in clock tower. You aim at capitalist very far away. You kill. Very easy, comrade.'|
|Minigun||22 Rupees||'You got many enemies, da? Line them up. Knock them down.'|
|Bazooka||22 Rupees||'Nothink beats satisfaction of watchink missile fly, explode in distance. Thing of beauty, comrade.'|
|Double-Barreled Shotgun||24 Rupees||'Only think better than shootink once, is shootink twice.'|
|BFG 9000||50 Rupees||'Big Friendly Gun is your new best friend. Developed by Moscow's top scientists. Make Mother Russia proud!'|
|Generic post-purchase quote|
|Ivan pushes a X in your hands...'I haff more, comrade.'|
|Insufficient funds quote|
|'Hoy! No roubles. No weapons.'|
|You seem to have died at Ivan's Weapons Van. He seems indifferent about it.|
|Before entering: 'You go now, comrade. No time for playink around.'
After entering: 'Haff nice day, comrade!'
Notes[edit | edit source]