It's... quite literally a world filled with butts. Surely only the most clever animated shows could come up with something as intelligent and groundbreaking as this. Marvelous!
You look inside every crack and you dig deep to lay bear all of this planet's juicy secrets! You find an especially promising butthole, push the giant cheeks aside and stick your arm in. There's something there. Just a bit deeper...
ItemImage
You found a X inside the giant butthole! The things people stick up their asses, right? Incredible!
Unfortunately, you are Very Stinky now...
[Continue]
Upon eating Butt Beans in Butt World:
Butt Bean Bonanza
You eat some Normal/Strong/Mega Butt Beans and propel yourself like a gas-powered rocket!
You move X spaces forward!
[Continue]
Upon trying to buy Butt Beans without enough Rupees in Butt World:
Sad Beans
You want to buy some Normal/Strong/Mega Butt Beans, but you don't have enough money...
[Continue]
Upon trying to buy Butt Beans while Unable To Eat Or Drink:
Sad Beans
You want to buy some Normal/Strong/Mega Butt Beans, but you're Unable To Eat...
[Continue]
Upon leaving in Butt World:
Butting Out
It's a planet of butts. Why would you want to explore this? Or eat anything they serve here? Just NO.
A boob-shaped muffin man walks up to you and yells in a squeaky voice.
"Ohh you, you majestic meat-filled space alien! Please eat from our world. It's all candy! We don't eat it, because we ARE candy! That makes sense, right? Only 4 Rupees per candy! No drawbacks! Hahaha!"
[Let's eat some candy!]
[Leave]
Upon paying for candy normally:
Yes We Candy
The muffin man lovingly sticks CandyItem into your mouth, then awkwardly massages your face to help you chew.
CandyItemImage
"How majestically you move your meatflaps to eat our world. Adoooooorable!"/"Ohhhh, you eat that! You eat that good! I'll tell you when to stop. Hahaha! What amazing friends we are!"/"That's what I call eating, alright! Haha! Hahaha! You... you are eating us! For money. I hope this is legal in this dimension. Hahaha!"/"You want to feel us in your mouth. Haha, you perverted flesh man! I love your sexual eating! Hahaha!"/"Do you like coming to our world and eating us? Haha! Keep on eating, you... you eat machine! What a day, I'm telling you. What a day! Hahaha!"/"Ooohhh, wow! Oh man! You are eating away at us, aren't you? Haha, what a sight! Woo wee!"/"Oh you're a good old chewer. I've never seen chewing like this before! Keep on... keep on moving those face muscles, you big dumb bag of lard! HAHA! You're my friend."/"Ohh yes you eat that. You eat that good. You keep on eating, okay? Don't stop now! Chew chew chew hahahaha!"
"Haha! Woo wee! Want some more candy? Only 4 Rupees!" [Let's eat more candy!]
[Leave]
Upon paying for candy and getting Diabetes:
I Sure Hope You Don't Get Diabetes
You got Diabetes. Sorry for the spoilers. I just had to say it.The muffin man lovingly sticks CandyItem into your mouth, then awkwardly massages your face to help you chew.
CandyItemImage
SameQuotesAsAbove
"Ohhhh, man! Oh jeez! You... you got the diabetes! I can see it. You're a sick, sick alien. No more candy for you, oh no! This sucks. But for you. I'll be fine. I'm fine right now! BYE! HAHAHA!" [Well, fuck.]
Upon attempting to eat in Candy World without enough Rupees:
No Muns, No Nums
"Ohhh, man! Ohhh, jeez! I can't give you candy if you don't give me money. I can't. It'd be bad for business. It's nothing personal, you know? You do look like an asshole though. Like someone who would try to take advantage of me because I'm a candy person? That'd be racist. You could be racist. And I bet you are. You... you get off our planet, you hear! You moneyless racist meat man! Look at you, you prick! You're... you're weird. We don't need your weirdness here you... hobo. Now go. I can still see you. Go!"
Okay. Next time... you'll bring enough money?
[Continue]
Upon attempting to eat in Candy World while Unable To Eat Or Drink:
Why... Can't... You... EAT?!
"Ohhh, man! Ohhh, jeez! I can't feed you candy if you are unable to eat. I can't. It's just... how could I? You can't eat. What is even wrong with you. Are you sick? Are you bringing your meaty sickness to our planet? Your... your sick inability to do what every living thing does? To eat? You are an abomination. You're scaring me. And my muffin children. Go away, please. Go. Go, you filthy mistake of nature! You're scaring the children with your... your alien disorder. Leave!"
Yikes, things are getting weird. You are out of here!
[Continue]
Upon leaving in Candy World, including upon leaving in Yes We Candy:
Candy World
You look around you and gaze upon the boob-shaped candy bushes once more. Lovely, but... enough is enough!
All human life has mutated into... corpulent monstrosities. That's terrible.
Let's do some sightseeing! YAY!
[Explore the abandoned laboratories]
[Explore the streets]
[Leave]
Upon exploring the abandoned laboratories in Cronenberg World:
The Cronenberg Laboratories
You sneak into the abandoned laboratories looking for something useful. Unfortunately, the mutated virus that made the disaster on this world happen is still around and affects your inventory!
LivingItemImage → RandomLivingItemImage (x2 or x3 if possible)
Your LivingItem mutates!
You also find an unbroken vial containing an Unstable Mutagen! At least that seems useful!
[Continue]
Upon exploring the streets in Cronenberg World:
The Cronenberg Streets
You wander the Cronenberg streets looking for loot. You try your best to avoid the mutated blobs of human flesh.
RandomItemImage
You found RandomItem! Free stuff is good, right? Yuck though!
[Continue]
Upon leaving in Cronenberg World:
Too Cronenberg For Me
So... everyone here has mutated due to a terrible virus? You... are... OUTTA HERE!
Humans aren't very welcome here. After the uprising, these doggos have sworn never to be the slaves of humans again!
But look at them with their cute little robo suits! You want a cute little pupper! Such good boys! :3
[Take some Tasty Treats!]
[Let's get dangerous and rob a robo doggo!]
[Leave]
Upon taking Tasty Treats in Doggo World:
Some Damn Tasty Treats
You walk up to a nice looking robo dog and roll around on the floor. Who's a good boy? You are! You're a good boy!
The robo dog thinks you're really cute and throws you some Tasty Treats! Nice!
[Continue]
Upon dying while trying to rob in Doggo World:
Rob The Robo Doge
You decide to rob a robo dog called Robert. You assault the cute fellow in an attempt to steal his technology. Unfortunately, these doggos have very good law enforcement and you find yourself shot at by dog cops!
The dog cops shoot the shit out of you!
The rain of bullets proves to be lethal. You fall down with Rob in your arms. "I'll always remember you, Rob..."
The world turns dark...
[Continue]
Upon reviving after dying/blocking the death while robbing in Doggo World:
Robo-Robert's Robbery Revival
You somehow seem to have revived after getting killed by the dog cops. The cops were not prepared for this, so you use the confusion to make your escape!
You quickly swipe Rob the Doge and his Cognition Amplifier! Suck my human balls, bitches!
[Continue]
Upon successfully robbing in Doggo World while Bulletproof:
Rob The Robo Doge
You decide to rob a robo dog called Robert. You assault the cute fellow in an attempt to steal his technology. Unfortunately, these doggos have very good law enforcement and you find yourself shot at by dog cops!
The dog cops shoot the shit out of you!
Luckily, you were totally Bulletproof. Take that, robo-bozos!
You quickly swipe Rob the Doge and his Cognition Amplifier! Suck my human balls, bitches!
[Continue]
Upon successfully robbing in Doggo World while Sneaky:
Rob The Robo Doge
You decide to rob a robo dog called Robert. You assault the cute fellow in an attempt to steal his technology. You are so Sneaky that the local law enforcement doesn't even notice!
You quickly swipe Rob the Doge and his Cognition Amplifier! Suck my human balls, bitches!
[Continue]
Upon leaving in Doggo World:
Doggone!
Of course you love drooling furballs just as much as the next guy, but... you're gonna skip Doggo World for now.
There are many quests available. What do you want to do?
[Simple quest: 10 spaces back - Reward: Bag Of Schmeckles]
[Challenging quest: 20 spaces back - Reward: Bag Of Schmeckles and Food]
[Epic quest: 30 spaces back - Reward: Bag Of Schmeckles, Food and Jewelry]
[Leave]
Upon going on a simple quest in Fantasy World:
A Simple Quest
You go on a simple quest!
You move 10 spaces back and earn a Bag Of Schmeckles!
[Continue]
Upon going on a challenging quest in Fantasy World:
A Challenging Quest
You go on a challenging quest!
FoodItemImage
You move 20 spaces back and earn a Bag Of Schmeckles and FoodItem!
[Continue]
Upon going on an epic quest in Fantasy World:
An Epic Quest
You go on an epic quest!
FoodItemImage JewelryItemImage
You move 30 spaces back and earn a Bag Of Schmeckles, FoodItem and JewelryItem!
[Continue]
Upon leaving in Fantasy World:
Ain't No Quest For The Wicked
You're not in the mood to go on some errand for a random villager. You take your leave.
Your portal led you to Sexy World! Sexual activities all around! But... only if you consent.
[Catch Lemon Whore]
[Explore Sex Dungeon (costs 5 Rupees)]
[Watch Porn]
[No thanks! I do not consent.]
Upon choosing [Catch Lemon Whore]:
Lemon Stealing Whores
You walk down a sexy orchard when suddenly... Goddamn it! Lemon stealing whores! How you despise them! Go work for your goddamn lemons, you slutty thieves!
You manage to catch one! This damn Lemon Whore thought she could get away with these lemons, eh? You think not! You want to take her to the police, but she starts wiggling her butt! You decide to accept this offer of repentence and engage in sweet, steamy sex!/You... would've gone for this, but you seem to be unable to have sex. That sucks.
That free Lemon though! Nice!
[Continue]
Upon paying to explore a sex dungeon:
The Sex Dungeon
Turns out this sex dungeon isn't full of monsters you can slay. Less slay, more lay, amiright? Haha. ...
Sooo, you explore the sex dungeon. A whole village of leather-clad gnomes is partaking in what can only be described as a depraved spank inferno. From a distance, it's an almost hypnotic sight!/ Sooo, you explore the sex dungeon. A Cromulon is staring at couples having sex. He disintegrates a couple of particularly unsexy Meeseeks, then proceeds to look at a Narduarvian frantically boning a helpless Blamph. As you walk away, you hear the Cromulon shout "SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!" at them./ Sooo, you explore the sex dungeon. Some really hot blue-skinned aliens are having the orgy of a lifetime. It appears they're all being controlled by a single hive mind, except for one human. You can barely make out his silhouette amidst all the sexual action, but he seems to be really good at whatever the hell he's doing!/ Sooo, you explore the sex dungeon. A Nuptian is giving relationship advice to several couples who are engaging in sweet, tender sex. It'd be pretty sensual, if it weren't for the Mantis-people couple. Errrr, actually, they don't seem to be a couple anymore. Technically, speaking./ Sooo, you explore the sex dungeon. A group of Tumblorkians is gliding erotically across a giant chessboard. A horny sex imp seems interested to join, but dissolves in the acidic trail of slime the Tumblorkians left behind. Should you... should you inform someone?
You can't hold it in and decide to have some sweet ass kinky sex./You wish you could join in on all the sex, but... you seem to be unable to.
KinkyItemImage
Later on, you find a KinkyItem and take it with you. It's not stealing when it's a souvenir!
[Continue]
Upon trying to pay to explore a sex dungeon without enough Rupees:
No Monies
You try to enter the Sex Dungeon, but you don't have the 5 Rupees required to enter. You sit outside and cry for the remainder of your turn.
[Continue]
Upon choosing [Watch Porn]:
Seek The Ultimate Power
/////// Thank you, Goku! BGO is a 17+ game after all. Gotta keep things sorta civilized...
SkillImage
Instead of masturbating, you train your ass off! You learn the Man Mode/"No."/Ni!/Pacman/The Force/THIS IS SPARTA! skill!
[Continue]
Upon not consenting:
No Consent
You do not consent to all of the wicked butt stuff that's going on around here!
Your portal led you to Shnoopy World, home of the famous Immortality Field Resort! You enter the Immortality Field. As long as you're inside, you will keep reviving when you die.
Fuck yeah! Let's kill yourself!
[Continue]
Upon continuing from Shnoopy World while Dead:
Recreational Regeneration (1)
The Immortality Field regenerates your corpse and brings you back to life!
You could get used to this! :)
[Continue]
Upon continuing in Recreational Regeneration (1) while Dead:
Recreational Regeneration (2)
The Immortality Field regenerates your corpse and brings you back to life again!
This is awesome!
[Continue]
Upon continuing in Recreational Regeneration (2) while Dead:
Recreational Regeneration (3)
The Immortality Field regenerates your corpse and brings you back to life yet again!
Shnoopy Bloopers, the owner of the resort, walks up to you.
"Haha! You're really enjoying the facilities, aren't you? Your deaths have been quite a sight to behold. Here, have a portable Immortality Field Generator on the house!"
Nice! You take the generator with you as you leave Shnoopy World.
[Continue]
Upon continuing from Shnoopy World/Recreational Regeneration (1)/Recreational Regeneration (2) while alive:
Bored Of Breathing
You know what? Without the whole death thing you start to notice how boring this resort actually is. You get bored and decide to leave.
Your portal led you to Universe J-19 Zeta! Some people call it Turd World, but that's just offensive.
"Welcome to our universe, stranger! It's mighty fine to have you around. Please have a sample of our local delicacy!" says a friendly local.
You have to admit... this Fake Fake Turd doesn't even look half bad!
"After our last food crisis, our smartest scientist came up with technology to make anything edible! We haven't gone hungry since! Do you want to make anything edible? I'd be happy to do that for you!"
ItemChoices
[No thanks!]
Upon choosing an item to enchant as Food:
Nommable ItemName
"You want me to make your ItemName edible? No problem! What are you waiting for? See how it tastes!"
[Continue]
Upon rejecting the offer:
No Thanks
You decline the offer. Dietary advice from a whole planet of turd gobblers? Noooooo, thank you!
Upon encountering Yello World with Floating or Emergency Floating:
Yello World
Your portal led you to Yello World!
The great aura of the Yello fills you with power and you gain 2RandomPositiveEffects!
You safely float down. Let's see where you end up this time...
[Continue]
Upon encountering Yello World without Floating or Emergency Floating or upon continuing from Yello World without Floating or Emergency Floating:
Yellooooooooooooooo
Your portal led you to Yello World!
Oh shit, you're falling! Yello World fades away above you while you tumble down into the darkness below...
You suddenly seem to have teleported back out of Yello World. That was a short adventure. At least you didn't die...
[Continue]
Upon continuing from Yello World and reaching A Fresh Start:
A Fresh Start
You wander around on Yello World when suddenly the spirit of the Yello speaks to you:
"You are trapped inside the wrong body. Embrace your destiny and become the beautiful man/woman you were always meant to be!"
You... are not quite sure how you feel about this change, but change is good, right? And you certainly feel shiny and new!
You gain a +4 Speed Boost for 3 turns!
[Continue]
Upon continuing from Yello World and reaching The Greater The Risk:
The Greater The Risk
While floating down you notice a GreatItem! Holy shit! Dibs! Claim! You wanna have it!
GreatItemImage
You gently float down and take the GreatItem! It's all yours!
Unfortunately, you didn't pay attention to a huge spike falling down and get utterly impaled and/or crushed. Take your pick! Either way, you die./Unfortunately, you didn't pay attention to a huge spike falling down. Luckily, your War Helmet protects you! EPIC!
[Continue]
Upon continuing from Yello World and reaching GRARRG:
GRARRG
You are startled by a load GRARRG-like sound.
A purple dinosaur in a spaceship carrying a gun comes right at you. Even though this is clearly not the real Grargg the Dinosaur (tm), you are no match for such a fearsome beast! You run back X spaces in an attempt to flee. Not-Grarrg, seemingly too dumb to use one, throws his Gun at you.
