Catapult (flavor text)

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If you're looking for the main page for this event, see Catapult.

Event Text[edit | edit source]

  • Upon continuing from Zwoop!:
High In The Sky
You soar through the air and as you gaze upon the landscape below you, you think:

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-Abraham Lincoln-
The gods too are fond of a joke.
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
-Benjamin Franklin-
We need never be ashamed of our tears.
-Charles Dickens, Great Expectations-
It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
-George Bernard Shaw-
He who has begun has half done. Dare to be wise; begin!
He wins every hand who mingles profit with pleasure.
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
-John Lennon-
A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure.
-Lee Segall-
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
-Mark Twain-
If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
-Oscar Wilde-
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.
He of whom many are afraid ought to fear many.
-Sir Francis Bacon-
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
-Woody Allen-
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
-Woody Allen-

How inspirational.


  • Upon the Lucky Buff activating after a standard self-launch:
Lucky Landing
You soar towards space space X and notice a tall grayish figure standing right there! Oh shit! You close your eyes...

Contrary to what you'd expect, you open your eyes to find yourself safely hovering over the soft green grass below. A strong hand keeps you afloat with magical strength.

"Quite an entrance, don't you think? You ought to be more careful next time"

Oh wow... it's...


You crash-land through the roof of the Welfare Warehouse on space space X. The absolutely terrible quality of their roof may just have saved your life. If anyone asks, you're gonna say you aimed for this building. As a matter of fact, you're starting to believe it already.

Well, as long as we're being lucky, let's see what we have here...

  • Upon encountering it after The Force has been used on it:
Toppled Catapult
You stand in front of a huge catapult, but it seems that some asshole thought it was funny to topple the damn thing! This is fucking shitty. Thanks a lot, dickface!

You spend your entire turn putting the Catapult back in its original position. When you're finally done, you don't have time left to actually use the thing. Bah.

  • Upon using the Pacman skill on it:
Pacman Launch!
You're hungry. You take a little nibble, but the Catapult is not tasty. You crave meat. Fresh meat. You climb onto the Catapult, driven by bloodlust, then cut the rope!


  • Upon using the Pacman skill on it and not eating anybody:
Crash Landing
You soar towards the ground. You're beginning to have second thoughts about your conquest for fresh meat...

You crash on space x and die. You know what? This may not have been a brilliant idea...

  • Upon launching a diss card:
Diss Card: x Launch!
You put the flimsy, paper Diss Card: x on the Catapult. You think you're pretty damn smart when you cut the rope. This is gonna be great! SWOOP!


  • Upon continuing from Diss Card: X Launch!:
Failure To Launch
You look into the distance for your card, but cannot see it. It is then that you come to the anticlimactic realisation that the card just came floating down from the Catapult. Apparently launching a flimsy, paper card wasn't the best idea, scientifically speaking.

You pick up your Diss Card: x and shrug.

  • Upon launching a Bee Hive:
Bee Hive Launch!
You put your Bee Hive on the Catapult and cut the rope.


With a mighty SWOOP it flies off into the distance! A YouTube video of this would go viral, baby!


  • Upon continuing from Bee Hive Launch! with the Hive landing on a player's space:
Oh, Beehive!
Your Bee Hive soars towards the ground. INCOMING!


The Beehive landed on PlayerName's head!