It's Good To Be Alive

It's Good To Be Alive
Finally, you see a bright light. In the distance you see all your loved ones and you try your best to move forward.

Suddenly from high above a giant hand moves down. Could it be... Him? The hand then puts a finger and its thumb together and shoots you away.

Seems it's not your time yet, eh?

''OR

Your spirit shoots through space, passing planets and stars. You don't watch where you're going and get sucked into a black hole. You wake up back on earth. Riiiight...

''OR

In a freak accident a policeman shoots a taser up your bumhole. In a crazy coincidence, this manages to revive you.

Yes. You just got revived through anal shocks.

''OR

A witch doctor be resurrectin' ya with powerful voodoo, mon!

''OR

A mad scientist manages to revive you!

Myeah. That was pretty much it.

''OR

Aliens beam your corpse up for research and revive you. Of course you turn out to be a worthless specimen and they drop you out of their ship.

''OR

God kicks you out of heaven for harrassing an angel! Go back to earth you pervert!

[Continue]

''OR

Doctor Nick walks up to your corpse.

'Hello Everybody! Whoopseedaisy! This patient is not dead.'

'Thank you, doctor Nick!'

Source: Dead