Zoidberg

Zoidberg
A mutant space crab lobster thing walks up to you, smiling.

'' 'Good day, friend! Oh my, your brain hole seems horribly infected and whatnot! Do not worry, I am a doctor!' ''

Before you know it you're being cut open by Zoidberg on an operating table...

 'And while you're under the knife, you could also get an ink pouch to help you escape your enemies!' 

You die horribly, as was to be expected. Doctor Zoidberg runs off to celebrate a job well done.

[Woop woop woop woop woop woop!]

Source: The Future