The Brothel (flavor text)

If you're looking for the main page for this event, see The Brothel.

Event Text

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! A Condom
 * You find a Time Travel Condom in a small empty room...
 * You find a Time Travel Condom in a small empty room...



Let's hope it hasn't been used before... [Continue]
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 * Upon reaching the A Hooker! subevent with 16 spaces forward:
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! A Hooker! Wow. The hooker looks extremely impressed. Good times follow. Move forward 16 spaces!
 * A hooker pulls down your pants.
 * A hooker pulls down your pants.

(If you are a -cubus: You're smoking hot and you know it!)

(If you have Mojo: Nobody can resist your Mojo baby!) [Continue]
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 * Upon reaching the standard A Hooker! subevent with 11 spaces backward:
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! A Hooker! Aaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha! The hooker laughs her ass off as you pull your pants back up. Move back 11 spaces.
 * A hooker pulls down your pants.
 * A hooker pulls down your pants.

Nobody can resist your Mojo baby! [Continue]
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 * Upon reaching the A Hooker! subevent with Jinxed Jewel Of Impotence:
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! A Hooker! Wow. (If you are male: The hooker looks impressed. But you can't get it up...) (If you are female: The hooker looks pleased. But you are unable to... have sex.) The hooker laughs her ass off as you pull your pants back up. Move back 11 spaces.)
 * A hooker pulls down your pants.
 * A hooker pulls down your pants.

[Continue]
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 * Upon using a Hammer in the A Hooker!/A Gigolo! subevent:
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! Big (Holy) Hammer [Continue]
 * That really is a big (Holy) Hammer you got there...
 * That really is a big (Holy) Hammer you got there...

And move 1 space forward for being awesome.
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 * Upon reaching the A Pillow subevent:
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! A Pillow
 * You find a Pillow on the ground. Looks soft and fluffy!
 * You find a Pillow on the ground. Looks soft and fluffy!



You do wonder what that white stain is, but take it with you anyway. [Continue]
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! Cocaine
 * You see some Cocaine on a table.
 * You see some Cocaine on a table.



You look around and quickly take it with you. [Continue]
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! Flask Of Mojo
 * You enter the bathroom of the Brothel and notice a small flask lying on the ground. You pick it up, and the label reads Flask Of Mojo...
 * You enter the bathroom of the Brothel and notice a small flask lying on the ground. You pick it up, and the label reads Flask Of Mojo...



You wonder what this potion does... [Continue]
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! Pearl Necklace
 * You meet a very friendly man in the Brothel who says he has a Pearl Necklace just for you! And you can have it for free too! Wow, what a nice man this is! You are pretty damn lucky!
 * You meet a very friendly man in the Brothel who says he has a Pearl Necklace just for you! And you can have it for free too! Wow, what a nice man this is! You are pretty damn lucky!



...

You don't want to talk about it.

[Continue]
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! Cock-A-Doodle-Doo!
 * You walk through the Brothel when suddenly a weird sound startles you!
 * You walk through the Brothel when suddenly a weird sound startles you!



What a beautiful Cock! You love it! You decide to take it with you.

You can't wait to show everyone your amazing cock!

[Continue]
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! The Heart Of The BGO Slut
 * You walk through the Brothel when your heart rate suddenly increases... You are mysteriously drawn towards a room in the back that you hadn't even noticed before. When you enter, you feel a hot glow... It's...
 * You walk through the Brothel when your heart rate suddenly increases... You are mysteriously drawn towards a room in the back that you hadn't even noticed before. When you enter, you feel a hot glow... It's...



The Heart Of The BGO Slut!

It compels you to have sex! Well then... let's get it ON!

[Continue]
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! Glory Hole
 * You enter a room with a hole in the wall. It's about big enough for... Well... I suppose a banana? Or a cucumber? You contemplate whether you should stick something in or wait for someone else to stick something in from the other side, but upon closer inspection you notice that the hole comes right off!
 * You enter a room with a hole in the wall. It's about big enough for... Well... I suppose a banana? Or a cucumber? You contemplate whether you should stick something in or wait for someone else to stick something in from the other side, but upon closer inspection you notice that the hole comes right off!



It's one of ACME's Portable Holes! Yoink!

[Continue]
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! Little Whores You walk through the brothel when you notice a door with a sign on it: "Little Whores".
 * [[File:LittleWhores.png]]
 * [[File:LittleWhores.png]]

You're not entirely sure if this is... legal. But you really are curious... So, do you want to go in?

[Yes][No]
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! Little... Horse?
 * You go into the room and find... a Pony?
 * You go into the room and find... a Pony?



Ohhhhh, it's a little horse! That's cute, Board Game Online! That's cute. :)

[Continue]
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! Ain't No Predator
 * You sure as hell don't want to be on "To Catch A Predator", so you're staying far away from that door!
 * You sure as hell don't want to be on "To Catch A Predator", so you're staying far away from that door!

[Continue]
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! Free Boobies You walk through the brothel when you notice a door with a sign on it: "Free Boobies.".
 * [[File:FreeBoobies.png]]
 * [[File:FreeBoobies.png]]

Who could say no to boobies? Let alone free ones! So, do you want to go in?

[Yes][No]
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! Free... Booby?
 * You go into the room and find... a Booby?
 * You go into the room and find... a Booby?



Ohhhhh, now you get it! It's a blue-footed booby! Why, thank you for the free bird! :)

[Continue]
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! No Time For Tits
 * You have way too much going on to care about some tits!
 * You have way too much going on to care about some tits!

[Continue]
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! Chlamydia
 * You got infected with Chlamydia. Damn... Chlamydia ain't funny.
 * You got infected with Chlamydia. Damn... Chlamydia ain't funny.

[Continue]
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! Gonorrhea
 * You got infected with Gonorrhea. Damn... Gonorrhea ain't funny.
 * You got infected with Gonorrhea. Damn... Gonorrhea ain't funny.

[Continue]
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! Herpes
 * You got infected with Herpes. Damn... Herpes ain't funny.
 * You got infected with Herpes. Damn... Herpes ain't funny.

[Continue]
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! Syphilis
 * You got infected with Syphilis. Damn... Syphilis ain't funny.
 * You got infected with Syphilis. Damn... Syphilis ain't funny.

[Continue]
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! Sex!
 * You have sex all night long! Move forward 18 spaces!
 * You have sex all night long! Move forward 18 spaces!

[Continue]
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! Sex?
 * You want to have sex, but it fails miserably! Move back 3 spaces!
 * You want to have sex, but it fails miserably! Move back 3 spaces!

[Continue]
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