FSM Afterlife

FSM Afterlife can can only occur randomly as the first Resurrection Phase event after becoming Dead or as a guaranteed Resurrection Phase event following a turn wherein you had FSM Afterlife and have not yet revived since.

In the event, you roll two 12-sided dice and add total Speed, then you move forward that amount of spaces. (Unknown if you move backwards if the space amount is negative.) Then, you go to one of the below randomly selected subevents.

Beach/Pirates!/Meaning Of Life
These 3 subevents are mechanically identical. In the events, you randomly gain one of the following:
 * 2-4 Rupees
 * Gun
 * Holy Hand Grenade
 * 1 permanent Speed

Bliss Bolognese
You can choose one of the following options:
 * [Beer Volcanoes]: You drink 2-5 beers, gaining the Drunk neutral effect for an amount of Rounds equal to the amount of beers drunk. You are also treated as drinking (only once) for drinking related effects.
 * [Noodles Of Cleansing]: You eat the Noodles Of Cleansing, removing all Debuffs and Major Statuses from yourself that are not generated passively by an item. (Even Doom, Fungal Doom, and Wrath Of The Admin can be removed.) This is treated as eating. (Unknown if it counts as containing animal products and/or meat.)
 * [Resurrection]: You go to the Pity subevent below.

Pity
Can be random or be reached from Bliss Bolognese. You revive and have a chance to capture the Flying Spaghetti Monster with your Pocket Ball.