Resurrection Phase (flavor text)

If you're looking for the main page for this Phase, see Resurrection Phase.

Event Text

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! Death Sucks
 * Lightning strikes your corpse and it smolders for a bit. Good thing you were dead already!/
 * Lightning strikes your corpse and it smolders for a bit. Good thing you were dead already!/

you.dead = true;

you.rot;

for(int i=0; i < allYourFriends.length; i++){

allYourFriends[i].danceOnYourGrave;

}

This is not a bug. It's a programming joke. It's amusing to us nerds./

You know the rumor that dead people empty their bowels? Well, you're the livi... erm... dead example of that now. Ewww!/

A cannibal eats part of your buttocks. OM NOM NOM!/

Two smurfs walk up to your corpse.

Seems like this one smurfed the smurf., says the one.

Serves the little smurfer right!, says the other.

What the hell?/

YOU REINCARNATED!!!

But... uh oh... you reincarnated as a mayfly, and those only live a few hours so you're already dead again... Sorry!/

A stinking hobo uses your corpse as shelter for the night./

A pyromaniac with necrophilia puts your corpse on fire!/

All your friends have gathered to pay their last respects to you.

That's right. Nobody./

A rat creeps up your ass.

That's all. Time to move on, people./

A dyslexic farmer tries to harvest your corpse instead of his crops.

That didn't make any sense.../

You won the lottery! Because you're dead the money has been donated to charity./

The next day your tragic death is on the front page of every newspaper.

Finally! - The New York Times/

You are dead. Very much so. Or wait... maybe... :o

Nope. Dead for reals, yo!/

A hyena gnaws on your bones. At least someone seems to appreciate you now that you're dead./

Dick Cheney dances on your grave./

intr.v. died, dy-ing, dies To cease living; become dead; expire./

Your corpse got moved to a new graveyard, because the old one got demolished to build a new themepark!

So uhm... yeah you're still dead.../

Scientists discover a whole new kind of fungus on your corpse. Huzzah! At least you've accomplished something in death!/

A group of thugs use your corpse for stabbing practise.

Stab, one, two, three, stab!/

Oh my, the cadaver worms seem to have reached your special area. Even though you're dead, that just cannot be pleasant!/

Gandalf walks past your corpse.

You should have taken the auto-resurrection, my friend./

Death is the permanent termination of the biological functions that define a living organism. It refers both to a particular event and to the continuing condition that results thereby.

[Continue]
 * }


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! It's Good To Be Alive
 * Finally, you see a bright light. In the distance you see all your loved ones and you try your best to move forward.
 * Finally, you see a bright light. In the distance you see all your loved ones and you try your best to move forward.

Suddenly from high above a giant hand moves down. Could it be... Him? The hand then puts a finger and its thumb together and shoots you away.

Seems it's not your time yet, eh?/

Your spirit shoots through space, passing planets and stars. You don't watch where you're going and get sucked into a black hole. You wake up back on earth. Riiiight.../

In a freak accident a policeman shoots a taser up your bumhole. In a crazy coincidence, this manages to revive you.

Yes. You just got revived through anal shocks./

A witch doctor be resurrectin' ya with powerful voodoo, mon!/

A mad scientist manages to revive you!

Myeah. That was pretty much it.

Aliens beam your corpse up for research and revive you. Of course you turn out to be a worthless specimen and they drop you out of their ship./

God kicks you out of heaven for harrassing an angel! Go back to earth you pervert!/

Doctor Nick walks up to your corpse.

'Hello Everybody! Whoopseedaisy! This patient is not dead.'

'Thank you, doctor Nick!'

[Continue]
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